I am writing this with rather mixed emotions. On one hand, I’m quite in a state of shock..this is so surreal, like a dream. I am, on the other hand, incredibly happy I’m almost lightheaded. A good friend of mine just got married. Now, I’m not so sure if getting married is what she’s always wanted, because she always (well, most of the times) said otherwise.
When she told me about this, I was dumbstruck. For joy, mostly. But there was a twinge of disbelief, too. She’s getting married to a guy she just knew, and better (or worse) yet, he wasn’t her choice but her parents’. And I thought, “What was she thinking??” I couldn’t help to doubt this decision. Of course, I realise it’s not my place to doubt her, but what the hell, I’m gonna be doubtful anyway. :p. I mean, it’s reasonable, right? My doubt, that is. She doesn’t want to be married (yet (or at least that’s what she said)), so why did she get married? And on top of that, she just knew him. It’s not that I’m not happy, because I am, I’m just…well, nosey. There. I’ve said it.
It always amazes me how people who doesn’t know each other can get intimate with each other, let alone get married. Of course, there is no guarantee that those people who have been seeing each other since high school can make their marriages work. But still, how could you choose someone you don’t know in the first place? How do you trust someone you’ve never met with your life? How do those people do that? How do they just meet strangers in the Internet, then spend their time chatting with each other for a few months, then decide to be together for the rest of their lives? I think it’s kind of risky. I mean, even having spent some time seeing each other can’t guarantee that there’s no lie in the relationship, let alone not seeing each other at all!
Some will say that love will grow eventually, and that they believe in that. Well, what if it doesn’t? What would you do if it doesn’t grow? Get out of the marriage? Or bear through a love-less relationship for the rest of your life? I myself intend to be married only once in my life. I’m not ruling out any possibilities, but I really don’t fancy the idea of me getting married even if something happens with my current marriage. I imagine it would feel like sharing your underwear with other people. Gross! Anyway, in my opinion, it’s essential to have love by the time you start a family. I have witnessed a lot of couples, over time, lost their love and passion for each other and unconsciously replaced them with gentle friendly feeling. Even those who started out with fiery fiery love ended up that way. Well, not all of them, but still…how would it be like if there was no love to begin with? I wouldn’t dare to imagine that. I’m certain that friendly and accepting feeling will eventually grow, but love? I won’t be so sure about that.
There’s this religious thing I hear growing up. Muslims believe that Allah had chosen one soul mate for each and every one of us. So, there is someone for everyone, and we will meet him or her no matter what. I understand that some people choose to be ‘ikhlas’, and if they’re destined to meet their soul mates through the Internet, or through the parents, then so be it. That’s what my friend did, and I wish her all the happiness in the world.