Monthly Archives: July 2011

Benarkah Cinta Datang Karena Terbiasa?

I am writing this with rather mixed emotions. On one hand, I’m quite in a state of shock..this is so surreal, like a dream. I am, on the other hand, incredibly happy I’m almost lightheaded. A good friend of mine just got married. Now, I’m not so sure if getting married is what she’s always wanted, because she always (well, most of the times) said otherwise.

When she told me about this, I was dumbstruck. For joy, mostly. But there was a twinge of disbelief, too. She’s getting married to a guy she just knew, and better (or worse) yet, he wasn’t her choice but her parents’. And I thought, “What was she thinking??” I couldn’t help to doubt this decision. Of course, I realise it’s not my place to doubt her, but what the hell, I’m gonna be doubtful anyway. :p. I mean, it’s reasonable, right? My doubt, that is. She doesn’t want to be married (yet (or at least that’s what she said)), so why did she get married? And on top of that, she just knew him. It’s not that I’m not happy, because I am, I’m just…well, nosey. There. I’ve said it.

It always amazes me how people who doesn’t know each other can get intimate with each other, let alone get married. Of course, there is no guarantee that those people who have been seeing each other since high school can make their marriages work. But still, how could you choose someone you don’t know in the first place? How do you trust someone you’ve never met with your life? How do those people do that? How do they just meet strangers in the Internet, then spend their time chatting with each other for a few months, then decide to be together for the rest of their lives? I think it’s kind of risky. I mean, even having spent some time seeing each other can’t guarantee that there’s no lie in the relationship, let alone not seeing each other at all!

Some will say that love will grow eventually, and that they believe in that. Well, what if it doesn’t? What would you do if it doesn’t grow? Get out of the marriage? Or bear through a love-less relationship for the rest of your life? I myself intend to be married only once in my life. I’m not ruling out any possibilities, but I really don’t fancy the idea of me getting married even if something happens with my current marriage. I imagine it would feel like sharing your underwear with other people. Gross! Anyway, in my opinion, it’s essential to have love by the time you start a family. I have witnessed a lot of couples, over time, lost their love and passion for each other and unconsciously replaced them with gentle friendly feeling. Even those who started out with fiery fiery love ended up that way. Well, not all of them, but still…how would it be like if there was no love to begin with? I wouldn’t dare to imagine that. I’m certain that friendly and accepting feeling will eventually grow, but love? I won’t be so sure about that.

There’s this religious thing I hear growing up. Muslims believe that Allah had chosen one soul mate for each and every one of us. So, there is someone for everyone, and we will meet him or her no matter what. I understand that some people choose to be ‘ikhlas’, and if they’re destined to meet their soul mates through the Internet, or through the parents, then so be it. That’s what my friend did, and I wish her all the happiness in the world.


In A Relationship with Harry Potter, and It’s Complicated

I was about 12 the first time I met Harry, and I fell in love right away. He was different from any other movie heroes, as he wasn’t good-looking nor smart nor strong…he was so normal, that I actually felt like he was a real boy. And then, there was Ron, so charmingly charmless, even Hermione couldn’t get enough of him. When she fell for him, I fell for him. I totally worshipped the ground they walked on.

Growing up, I got a lot of temptations, but Harry Potter was still my true love. Until one day, I met Pippin. I got so fascinated with Pippin and Hobbiton and the Middle Earth, so I began to question Harry. How is it that Dobby speaks in third-person about himself as Gollum does? How is it that the Dementors resemble the Nazgul in so many ways? How come there were some similar events in both stories?

Some people may say that it’s not that important, but for me unoriginality is a big turn-off. Finding out that Harry wasn’t as genuine as I thought he was, was truly heartbreaking. So I tried to avoid him, but I failed. I was so addicted to Harry and Ron and Hermione. It was like knowing that sweets aren’t good for your teeth, but you just can’t help having them. So I said to myself, it can’t be all bad, I assured myself, Harry must still have something good, and so I picked up the pieces of my heart and moved on to the next book.

Starting from the fifth book our relationship was very rocky, but I had hope for Ron and Hermione, and so I kept holding on. Besides, I just couldn’t  leave him after all those times. It felt like having a boyfriend for so long, and you got sick of him already but couldn’t break up with him because you feel like you’ve been together for too long.

Last week, I watched the final Harry Potter movie. In the end, Ron and Hermione did get together. That’s pretty much all I care about. I finally can end my love and hate relationship with Harry, and move on now. I’m sorry that my relationship with Harry did not work out, but I will not regret every time we spent together. And, yes, I’m fully aware this is just a story, and that I appear to be lebay. But, hey, what’s life without a little of lebay-ness, right? :p